The Religious Policeman

Subject: Turki bin Faisal al Saud (Nicknames "Prince", "Ambassador")

Date: 23 May 2006

STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

1. Principal, you may remember that I have already written to you on a number of occasions about our student Turki.

2. I initially advised you against admitting him to our school.

Whilst his family is extremely rich, its wealth was acquired by dubious means. There are many reports of the family patriarch, sometimes known as "Abdul Aziz Al-Saud", sometimes as the "Allahfather", conducting gang warfare against the Hashemite syndicate who used to run the West Side. The Hashemites were eventually driven out and took refuge up north. Shortly after, in a story more reminiscent of the "Beverly Hillbillies" than "Dallas", the Al-Sauds discovered oil in the family compound. They have since become extremely rich, which unfortunately makes them think that they are above any law, and that anyone can be bought. Young Turki is no exception.

The extended family can only be described as extremely dysfunctional. The Bin-Laden branch of the family runs a building business, but one of their sons "went bad" a long time ago and now leads a gang that trashes planes, trains and buildings. Even the more law-abiding side of the family have their problems. They are on the extreme wing of the "Religious Right", treat their servants like cattle, and their women no better.

3. When I originally recommended against admitting him, you were perhaps persuaded otherwise by the offer of the al Saud family to fund a "small prayer room" for the Muslim students. We should perhaps have become suspicious when we suggested a "multi-faith prayer room" that could also be used by other religions such as the Jewish students, for them to reply that "The Jews …there is no bond that binds them, except for a corrupted religion. They seek to extinguish the light of God with their mouths…" And by the time that the "small prayer room" had been built, four times the size of the college chapel with a dome that can be seen ten miles away, it was too late. Certainly the football team regret the loss of their two fields and, as a result, their entire program.

4. Since admitting Turki he has been, as you know, nothing but trouble. Although very polite and well-mannered when talking to authority figures, behind our backs he is a different person. He constantly incites his clique into a campaign of offensive insults against the mainstream students (whom he referred to as the Infidels), not to mention the Jewish ones. Thus remarks such as....

Anyone who turns away from God’s orders and befriends the infidels is the loser…

....the infidel, even if he is your brother of kin, is your enemy by religion.

The infidel is the wretched one. Hell is the abode of the infidel.

The Jews have taken upon themselves to run that [prostitution], to spread it and to run the bars in Europe and America and in Israel itself.

The Jews’ deception, slyness and crookedness [was shown] when they used to greet the Prophet by saying ‘poison be upon you [al-sam ‘alayka]’ as if they were saying ‘peace be upon you [al-salam ‘alayka]’

....and especially this, which he says without a hint of irony...

The Jews are wickedness in its very essence. One of the wicked ways of the Jews is that they whisper to one another among themselves....

....obviously caused great friction with the main student population. However, when they retaliated verbally, they were accused of being "racist", "islamophobic", and even "orientalist", whatever that was supposed to mean.

5. As you know, behind every dysfunctional student there is a dysfunctional family. In view of the above behavior patterns, and triggered by the extreme behavior of his Bin Laden relative and associates, we arranged for a home visit to assess the family situation. Put simply, we were appalled and distressed to see the racist and xenophobic so-called educational material that was readily available to the younger members of the family. No wonder the Bin Laden offspring and many other impressionable relatives have gone completely sociopathic. We were able to find examples of the above insults in those books, together with such "educational" exercises as....

5. What is the fate of the infidels and hypocrites on the Day of Judgment?
[Answer:] Their abode is Hell.

(Dictation exercise)
Now it [Palestine] is occupied by the Jews, a people of treachery and betrayal, who have gathered there from every place: from Poland, Spain, America and elsewhere. Their end, by God’s will, is perdition.

6. We pointed out to the family how this reading matter had demonstrably led to extreme acts of violence by many members of their family, how it had made hatred systemic within their extended family, and for that reason they should do something about it as a matter of urgency We were solemnly assured on numerous occasions that this was happening . One of the uncles told us last year....

We have removed materials that are inciteful or intolerant towards people of other faiths.

and another added, only few days ago,....

The education reforms....go beyond textbook rewriting....Textbooks are only one of the steps that has been taken

....leading us to conclude, quite reasonably, and after four years, that all offending material had been removed. However "telling the truth" seems to be an unknown concept for the al Saud family, presumably because they are only dealing with "Infidels" like you and me. It is therefore sad to report that new material, published only last year, and still available to their children today, has been smuggled out of the house by domestic staff and passed to us. If anything, it is worse than what they had before.

They are the people of the Sabbath, whose young people [Jews] God turned into apes, and whose old people [Christians] God turned into swine to punish them."

You can hardly find an example of sedition in which the Jews have not played a role.

Jihad continues until the Day of Resurrection.

The hour [of judgment] will not come until the Muslims fight the Jews and kill them.

Some of the Jews worship the devil.

....not to mention the "old chestnut", warmed up once again....

The Protocols of the Elders of Zion "were discovered in the 19th century. The Jews have tried to deny them, but there are many proofs of their veracity and their origin among the elders of Zion.

7. I spoke to Turki and asked him why these books had not been destroyed, as we had been assured they had been. His reply was exactly the same old mixture of tired excuses for a late assignment, that teachers the world over could recite in their sleep....

....a massive undertaking.....hundreds of books....the process remains ongoing. The report....is by no means a final report, and was never presented as such.

8. We should call a halt to this endless prevarication. My recommendation is that we expel this troublesome student immediately, and have nothing to do with his problem family, ever. They are smooth and accomplished liars who just regard us with contempt, as "Infidels" who are capable of being "bought". There is no point in trying to deal reasonably with people who believe, in their own words, that....

True belief means . . . that you hate the polytheists and infidels


Thanks, "Jim", "Thompsom", "Paul", "Jonathan", "mkshafeek", "John Bradley"