The Religious Policeman

Can I just make that clear? The reason I'm saying that is that I've just received this email message (certain names deleted to protect the innocent).

Sri Lanka ****** selling sadiqi in Jubail Camp too much sadiqi many times fiting men friday drinking sadiqi too much. ******* *. ******** *** **.

The basic meaning of this is that there is a certain Sri Lankan gentleman selling "sadiqi" (or "sid", an almost pure alcohol bootleg distillate) in Jubail camp (a rudimentary set of residential huts for Third World laborers in Jubail on the east coast) and that men are drinking on Friday (our holy day, but also the only day these guys will get off work) and drinking too much.

To the person who sent me this, and anyone else who wants to inform on their fellow-humans:

1. I am not the official Muttawa site, so there's no point telling me about Sadiqi sellers, I'm not going to do anything about it.

2. There is an official Muttawa site somewhere, but I'm not going to go out of my way to tell you where it is.

3. If you find it, it's in Arabic, so you probably won't be able to find the bit where you can inform on people.

4. I have every sympathy with the guys in Jubail camp. If I were one of them, doing an absolutely crap job in unbelievable temperatures, I'd be pouring "sid" down my throat at every chance, not just Friday.

5. As the English say, "Live and let live". They're not doing you any harm, so why do you want to cause them trouble? If they are drinking too much, that's their problem, not yours, you worry about your own body and soul. In fact, why not relax, join them, try it with Coca-Cola and ice cubes. Life's too short otherwise.

To the guys at Jubail camp, keep your heads down fellas, and warn the Sri Lankan that someone's out to cause him trouble. Sorry that we Saudis treat you so badly, but save as much as you can and have a great retirement back home.