The Religious Policeman

Apologies for something that may seem off-topic, but go up to any Arab or Asian in Saudi Arabia, and ask them to name their favorite soccer team, and 4 times out of 5 it will be "Manchester United". And these are people who have never been within thousands of miles of Old Trafford. Such is the lure of this glamorous team from an unglamorous industrial city in the north of England.

It seems that the 12-year partnership of Alex Ferguson, Manager, and Roy Keane, Captain, has now angrily split up, with the latter being fired. I asked the blog's Poet-in-Residence to give us his thoughts, and dedicate them to Manchester United fans worldwide.


So. Farewell then
Roy Keane
ex-Captain of Man U.

Temperamental Irishman
meets Irascible Scotsman
it was bound to end in tears.

Keith's Mum
is "sick as a parrot",
but as the commentator says,
more philosophically,
it's a funny old game;
on the day
either side could win it,
or it could be a draw;
it's a game of two halves
and you play until the final whistle;
it's all about
getting the ball in the back of the net
while keeping the other side out;
one minute the crowd
are cheering you on,
the next minute
the ref shows you the Red Card
and you're
going for the early bath.

Roy, you controlled the ball beautifully
but not your temper
or your mouth
when telling The Boss
to "Stick it up yer bollocks!".

And if there's one thing Alex Ferguson hates
it's a mixed metaphor
so he booted you into touch.

(With apologies to E.J Thribb (17), poet of "Private Eye")