The Religious Policeman

I read an article in the Saudi Gazette recently, reporting the words of our Ambassador to the United States, Prince Turki Al-Faisal. And those words were:

Reacting to negative statements released by members of the US Senate at the hearing held Tuesday to discuss Saudi Arabia's cooperation in fighting terrorism and extremism, Prince Turki Al-Faisal, the Saudi Ambassador to the US, said that these statements promote false impressions and partial facts.

So, we are all on the edge of our seats, waiting to hear what these "negative statements" were, and why they "promote false impressions and partial facts". Unfortunately, this is the Saudi press, and when it comes to princely pronouncements, they do not believe in taxing their readers with too much detail, or indeed any at all.

So I thought I would call him up on the phone and probe this further. Now Prince Turki may come across on US TV as quite suave, the "acceptable face" of absolute monarchy and religious tyranny. However, he is a Saudi Prince. Ever heard the term, "Little Princess"? That's usually applied to the spoilt daughter of a well-off Western family. Imagine instead, a "Little Prince", the spoilt son of an obscenely beyond-your-wildest-dreams rich Saudi family. The sort of man who, although supposedly adult, tells his family that he wants an Action Man, and gets an entire army brigade to play with. That's what we're dealing with here.


Ring, ring

Hello?

Prince Turki?

Yes, who is this?

It's Alhamedi Alanezi, of the Religious Policeman blog.

The cat and camel man?

Yes

I like cats and camels.

So so I, Prince. However I wasn't calling about them.

I've got a mouse.

No, I was calling about the report in the "Saudi Gazette".

It's called Mousa. That's Arabic for Moses. It's a good name for a mouse, isn't it?

The report where you said "negative statements released by members of the US Senate".

Have you got a mouse, Mr. Policeman?

Why didn't you say what those statements were?

What statements?

In the report. You know, the nasty things that the nasty Americans were saying.

Not telling.

What do you mean, "not telling"?

I'm not telling.

Why not?

Because you'll laugh.

No I won't.

Yes you will.

No I won't

And you'll tell all the other boys and girls.

No I won't. Cross my heart.

Aawww! You'll get in trouble for saying that!

OK, OK. Crescent my heart.

Still don't believe you.

Well, look, why don't I tell everyone instead. Look here, they are saying in the Judiciary Committee that Saudi Arabia is planting extremist propaganda within the borders of the United States.

So?

There are Saudi tracts in mosques, big mosques in the United States, saying things like "Be dissociated from the infidels, hate them for their religion, leave them, never rely on them for support, do not admire them, and always oppose them in every way according to Islamic law."

Not bothered...

Listen to this one. "Never greet the Christian or Jew first. Never congratulate the infidel on his holiday. Never befriend an infidel unless it is to convert him. Never imitate the infidel. Never work for an infidel. Do not wear a graduation gown because this imitates the infidel."

Still not bothered....

That last one was just bad manners to the host country. But doesn't this one sound really dangerous to you? "if relations between Muslims and non-Muslims were harmonious, there would be no loyalty and enmity, no more jihad and fighting to raise Allahâ's work on earth."

Not bothered! Look at me! Do I look bothered? See my face! Does it look bothered? Is it a bothered face? Uhh?

And then here, talking about Saudi Arabia's ongoing support for terror, they say "Saudis are continuing to fund terror despite repeated promises to stop. Indeed, last August, Y'akub Abu Assab, a senior Hamas operative, was captured after he opened the Judea regional Hamas Communication Center in East Jerusalem. Assab transferred hundreds of thousands of dollars, as well as operational instructions from Hamas headquarters in Saudi Arabia"

Naa naa nee naa naa! Naa naa nee naa naa!

How about this? "in a “August 29, 2005 program aired in Saudi Arabia on Iqra TV, a Saudi-based station, which solicited funds for the Saudi Committee for the Support of the al Quds Intifadah ... Saudi Arabia's secretary-general of the official Muslim World League Koran Memorization Commission, Sheikh Abdallah Basfar, urged Muslims everywhere to fund terrorism"

Not listening! I'm not listening! I've got my ears covered and I'm not listening!

I can see why you didn't want those "negative statements released by members of the US Senate" to be quoted in the Saudi Gazette. Because they report an absolutely appalling state of affairs, something that Saudi Arabia should be ashamed of, and something they should act on as a matter of urgency. As Saudi Ambassador to the United States, what are you going to do about it?

Bum, botty, wee-wee, poo-poo, bum, botty, wee-wee, poo-poo...

Thank you, Ambassador.
Click.

(and thanks to "NahnCee" for one of those links above)