The Religious Policeman

We've now had the news about the epic Saudi 'Two Kings' production, followed by the opening of the first 'Saudi Cinema' of recent times. Soon there's clearly going to be a huge demand for home-grown Arab language movies, so we need a Middle East version of Hollywood or Bollywood. So where could that be? Let's have a look at Syria.

Not literally, of course. Syria is one of the last places on God's earth that I would want to travel to. Most Saudis feel that way. Saudis usually have a problem at the Syrian land border post. Or rather, the Syrian customs and immigration officials have a problem. It's an eyesight problem. They have some eyesight defect, that means they cannot see our passports, or other travel documents, or indeed us. Somehow our documents, and we ourselves, are invisible. We could wait there, in some ratty shed with inadequate air conditioning, all day. The only thing that makes us visible, is to insert a large-denomination note in between the pages of the passport. Then they suddenly see us! It's a miracle! It's a genuine Islamic miracle!

Squalidly corrupt officials are usually the product of squalidly corrupt governments. And even by the abysmal standards of the Middle East, they don't come any more squalid or corrupt than that of the Syrian government. Or should I say monarchy? After all, the present Head of State inherited the title from his father. So now we have King Bashar the Gormless. The man who gave the words "I'll send a car for you" a new and chilling meaning.

One aspect that is common to any squalid government, is that they need an enemy, a scapegoat. Someone to point the finger at, as being the source of all ills. Someone to make their own hapless people look away from the self-serving incompetents who are running their country, and concentrate on someone else instead. And in this part of the world, who better than the Jooos? Not very original, of course. From Hitler and the Czars down to the nastiest little autocrats, they've all gone for the Jooos. But if it works, why change it?

The burgeoning movie scene in the Middle East has tempted Syria to throw its cap into the ring, to be the center of movie-making. And what better movie to start with than "Diaspora", the story of an ordinary Jewish family. They're called the Rothschilds. They do a bit of banking as a day job, but their pastime is World Domination. Mind you, that wasn't their first choice. They really wanted just to play golf, but the Goyim wouldn't let them join the club.

The full details are at the MEMRI site, (link below). The movie first appeared on Syrian TV, and this year is one of the "Ramadan Specials" on Jordanian TV. Let me just give you a taster, while you wait for it to come to your local multiplex.

The first scene features old Amschel Rothschild on his deathbed in 1812, with his sons standing round. Just so we know where he's coming from, he croaks

"All the nations that violate the religion of the Jews originated from the seed of a stinking and filthy ass. Rule them in secret and in public, with strength and oppression through deceit and cunning, and do not allow any nation to share your control of the world...
"God has honored us, the Jews, with the mission of ruling the world using money, using science, using politics, using murder, using sex, using any means..."

No hidden agenda here. Don't you just hate those conniving sneaky Jooos already? He starts to divide up the world. For example,

"You, Solomon, take Austria. The most loathsome country, namely Britain, I have left to you Nathan."

Then he dies. I think it's based on the Shakespeare scene where King Lear divides up his country. However, Shakespeare it's not. Sadly it's also not got the humor of the Superman scene where Lex Luther asks General Zod for an island - Australia. The father character is pure ham, if you'll excuse the expression, while the sons are so wooden it's like being in the middle of a forest. But I did just wonder if it was based on a real-life scene at the deathbed of King Bashar's father. ("You, Bashar, are clueless and chinless - you shall have Syria").

Then there's the scene in 1894, where the Jewish world government is taking Executive Decisions.

Dr. Sam Rothschild: "Rabbi Shilotka, arrange for the assassination of the Czar, but do it quietly."
Rabbi Shilotka: "All right."

And did you know, Alexander III died in 1894, of kidney disease? Cunning Jooos. Obviously "quietly" poisoned him. But there was other business to take care of.

Dr. Sam Rothschild: "Before we close the meeting, I want to remind everyone that this period of international balance must not continue. Do everything possible to incite the Germans to start a war. Any questions? In the name of the global Jewish government, all ideas raised in this meeting will be implemented. This year here, next year in Jerusalem."

And by gosh, didn't a German war start in 1914? What a prophetic film this is.

There's potentially a good scene when the Jooos in a ghetto ritually kill one of their number, for the crime of marrying a Goy woman. Here's what the punishment involves:

"You, hold his nose shut. You, open his mouth with tongs. You, pour lead into his mouth. You, cut off his ears. And you, stab his body with a knife before the lead kills him. Understood? This is a sacred Talmudic court. Any of you who fails in his mission will be tried just like this criminal."

Sadly, it's all a bit tame. After all, when someone pours molten lead into your mouth, there should be lots of hissing and writhing and steam and leaden gurgling. If Peckinpah directed it, someone would reach in and pull out a stomach-shaped lead ingot. But there's none of that. It looks like they are force-feeding him Chicken Soup. Then a woman faints. Or perhaps she was so bored, she fell asleep.

Anyway, I'm glad to see that this movie doesn't deny the Holocaust. Far from it. It is in fact a Machiavellian Jooo plan to populate Palestine with Jooos. It's explained in this scene.

Chairman: "Listen to me closely. We need to help Hitler annihilate the Jews, because this is the only way to drive the Jews from the countries that Hitler has not yet occupied to immigrate to the Promised Land."
Participant: "Can I ask a question?"
Chairman: " Please."
Participant: "Isn't there another way to attract immigrants to the Promised Land besides annihilation?"
Chairman: "Unfortunately no, because no Jew living in comfort in Europe will consider coming here unless he feels the threat of annihilation. So I want you to be realistic, and to leave all sentiment behind. Let's all cooperate to increase the annihilation operations so that we can ultimately realize our dream of establishing the great empire in the Promised Land."

So they sacrificed 6 million of their own, in order to set up the state of Israel. I don't know about you, but they certainly had me fooled! What naughty rascals they are!

However, no self-respecting movie of this genre can manage without the bit where they sacrifice a Gentile child. Why? Well, it's for this recipe.

Rabbi: "Listen. We want the blood of a Christian child before Passover, for the matzos. Don't think too hard. Joseph, the son of Helen, your neighbor."

Don't you get annoyed with those recipe books, when you can't get the ingredients at the supermarket?

Anyway, they go out to find a "Christian Child" called Joseph. Actually, in the movie, he doesn't look too "Christian" to me. In fact, he looks decidedly Semitic. Perhaps they picked up a "Yousef" instead of a "Joseph". "Yousef"'s mother isn't going to be too pleased about that. Plus they may not get the right Matzo taste. However, he's more than a child, he's quite a big lad. Lots of blood, lots of Matzos. Perhaps they can sell them wholesale. So how do the Matzos turn out? The evil Rabbi tries them on a non-religious Jew.

Rabbi: "Hello."
Non-religious Jew: "Hello."
Rabbi: "Good Passover."
Non-religious Jew: "Good Passover to you too."
...
Rabbi: I want to let you taste the holy Passover matzo. Then, maybe you will come back to your religion."
Non-religious Jew: "No, thanks, I don't want to."
Rabbi: "No, no. You must eat this, if not for my sake, for the sake of God."
Non-religious Jew: "Thank you."
Rabbi: "How is it? Tasty?"
Non-religious Jew: " Plain. Like all the matzos in the world."

What did I say? If you skimp on the ingredients, you can spoil the whole thing. Next time, ask for J-o-s-e-p-h. Then your Matzos won't taste plain, and you won't have wasted all that blood. Not to mention all the other bits you had to throw away.

There's much more if you go to the MEMRI site.

You can see the wholesome fare that we enjoy in our movies. But we don't watch movies and programs that are "haram", for example that show people drinking alcohol. Not even Bloody Marys.