The Religious Policeman

I am pleased to report that the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice (British Chapter) are being ever-vigilant in their search for the forbidden, the unGodly, and the downright sinful.

I discovered their latest skirmish in the Jihad, from the UK's "Sun" newspaper. Not that I read this on a regular basis, you understand. It's a paper whose obsession with the rounder parts of the female anatomy is really aimed at those who have overdosed their testosterone treatment, or else live in prisons, monasteries, and other all-male enclaves. (This is where their more literate readers learnt their alphabet.) However I was made aware of this article while watching a morning TV program's review of the various newspapers, so I put down my copy of "Philosophy and Ontology Weekly", and gave it my full attention.

Muslims win toy pigs ban

NOVELTY pig calendars and toys have been banned from a council office — in case they offend Muslim staff.
Workers in the benefits department at Dudley Council, West Midlands, were told to remove or cover up all pig-related items, including toys, porcelain figures, calendars and even a tissue box featuring Winnie the Pooh and Piglet.
Bosses acted after a Muslim complained about pig-shaped stress relievers delivered to the council in the run-up to the Islamic festival of Ramadan.

So, goodbye Piglet. Winnie the Pooh will be absolutely devastated. However, no longer will his soul be condemned to eternal damnation, thru association with your uncleanliness.

(I was also intrigued by the reference to "pig-shaped stress relievers". For some reason, it conjured up an image of slightly inbred families living in the remoter parts of West Virginia. Echoes of "Deliverance". Perhaps we shouldn't go there.)

Anyway, congratulations once more to the British. Although we Muslims only comprise 3% of the population, this kindly and tolerant people still allow us to dictate what they can and cannot have on desks in their offices. Carry on like this and we'll eventually get them to ban their own churches and religious celebrations.

Perhaps I should leave the last words to Councillor Mahbubur Rahman. You can't help but admire the way he delivers a completely absurd and self-contradicory statement with a completely straight face. He's obviously learnt the British sense of Irony.

Councillor Mahbubur Rahman, a practising Muslim, backed the ban. He said: “It’s a tolerance of people’s beliefs.”