Saturday, April 08, 2006

I've got mail

What would a Blogger's life be like, without hate mail? So it was really nice to get this one from "queen.oman@gmail.com". (Slightly edited with my "delete thingy" - I can be a bit of a prude)

F*CK U PIG BURN IN HELL

ENJOY UR LIFE TEMPORARLY BUT REMEMBER ABOVE UR F*CKING HEAD THERE'S A GOD WHO SEES AND HEAR WUT UR F*CKING EYES CAN'T SEE AND WUT UR F*CKING EARS CAN'T HEAR
STAY IN UR DARKNESS
I'LL ENJOY WATCHING U BURN IN NAR JAHANNAM SON OF A BITCH WHO DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO RAISE U RIGHT

Queen, that's really kind of you, but could I just point out one or two things?

1. In the West, "Queen" is slang for a gay, usually one who is a bit aging and past their prime. Now I don't have any problem with gays, even ones who have seen better days, so if that's the lifestyle you want to choose for yourself then that's OK with me, but you're not going to be able to offend me that way.

2. I think the God up there has seen and heard it all; the Christians sing "well our feeble frame he knows"; but I don't really think he approves of people using language like you do. He probably makes allowances if you've just burnt your hand on a hot cooking dish or walked into a cupboard, but he does find it unnecessary in normal conversation. People who use language like that are often seen shuffling down the sidewalk swearing to themselves and to passers-by, and consistently seem to have wet the front of their pants.

3. But you did write some great songs!

We will - we will - rock you - ahh - umm umm ahh....

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